That is it. I have finished my last week of normal university. I still have assignments due, a dissertation to write and one exam to take, but class is officially over for me. So I figured that this is as good a time as any to reflect on my time at university.
I think it is fair to say that getting to this point has been a small struggle for me. I have not LOVED university like many of my friends, in fact half of the people who knew me in first year are amazed that I am in the position I am in now, weeks away from final deadline day! I have almost quit, transferred, just stopped going more times than I can count. However, looking back I am glad that I gritted my teeth and got on with it.
Looking back on the past 3 years so much has happened and I have changed in so many ways. I have met new people, been to new places, fallen in love, had my heart broken and bounced right back. I have drunk waaaay more than I ever thought I would, gained the coveted title of ‘Roxy Queen’ and amazed people with my habit of writing assignments in the bar with a beer in hand. I’ve played sport, written and edited for the school paper, set up my own charity society and had a laugh whilst doing so. I have learnt things about myself and those around me that I would never have expected. My confidence has grown and then been knocked, only to grow again. I have found my style and I now know that I am resilient, stubborn and have the ability to boost those around me. I’ve learnt that the army really isn’t for me and that I have no clue what the future holds because I change my mind every 5 minutes and that’s kinda exciting. However, the best thing that I have learnt these past three years is that if you do everything with care and kindness, it is all going to be okay. I want to fill my life with care and kindness, both in the people I surround myself with and in the actions I take. I’ve also learnt that I really want to spend a few years in the sun…
It hasn’t all been sunshine and rainbows though. I have learnt that I sometimes care too much about things and that I find it hard to let go. I now know that I am a hopelessly terrified romantic who falls too quickly and runs away even faster. I am terrified of mice and have cried more in the past year than I have in any other academic year that I can remember. The people and things that I thought I should love, I haven’t and the things I want to be good at, I am sometimes too scared to try. I have learnt that I am broken in all sorts of places that I have ignored before and I really do not deal with headaches well. I get irritated by drunk people and am scared of the dark.
But I am glad that I have learnt these things – retrospectively that is…
I think it is important to recognise both the good times and the bad and to reflect on both. If I hadn’t had the shittier times I don’t think I would have ever realised that it is okay not to be okay. Shit times happen and I get through them. My experiences, good and bad, have shaped me and made me who I am today and I kinda like who I am right now. I’m dorky, guarded, caring, nerdy, funny, cool in a camp kinda way, smart, passionate, insecure, low-key neurotic, control maniac and kind. And I am so ready to find out what is next in store for me as I take a year off to do… well, who knows what?! But the not knowing is the fun, albeit terrifying, part – I cannot wait to get out there and learn more about myself and the world around me.
Okay, so I think that is probably enough mush for now… I’m gonna sign off and write a much more practical “Leaving Uni” style post later on with all my so-called tips and tricks to making uni the best experience you can. Because, despite the lows, that is something I have definitely done – I have made my university experience the best that it could be and that is something I am proud of. Ew. Really no more nostalgic/reflection stuff. Faaar too cheesy. Bleugh. Signing off, adios 🙂